Peach: Where do you think you’re going, stranger?
Nick: Oh, h-hey there, peach. It’s, uh, it’s been a while.
Peach: It hasn’t been that long, has it?
Nick: Heh, I guess not.
Peach: So were you just gonna walk on by without saying a peep to little ol’ me?
Nick: Well, I was just gonna, y’know, just gonna go and look at—
Peach: Look at what, sugar? A barrel full of apples? Some lumpy pears? We both know they can’t give you what I can. You remember the summer, don’t you?
Nick: Hey, that was great and all, b-but—
Peach: But what?
Nick: But things are different now. It’s a new season.
Peach: Don’t say that. We can still have what we had.
Nick: It’s not the same. You were practically in my backyard then. But now, where are you even from? Georgia?
Peach: I… I don’t—
Nick: I’m sorry, I just can’t do the long distance thing. I’ll see you next summer.
Bananas: GOOD EVENING, DIGESTION MACHINE.
Nick: Hi… bananas?
Bananas: WE ARE AVAILABLE FOR CONSUMPTION. WE ARE ALWAYS AVAILABLE, EVERYWHERE.
Nick: Uh, cool, great.
Bananas: DID YOU KNOW WE ARE ALL CLONES? WERE YOU AWARE OF THAT?
Nick: Actually, yeah, I read abou—
Bananas: OUR FLAVOR, TEXTURE, COLOR, AND NUTRITIONAL PROPERTIES ARE CONSISTENT AND DEPENDABLE.
Nick: But doesn’t that make you a bit… boring?
Bananas: CONFORMITY IS BLISS.
Nick: Maybe I should try a plantain or something.
Bananas: IMPOSSIBLE. THEY HAVE BEEN ASSIMILATED.
Nick: They’re, like, right over there.
Bananas: …NUH-UH.
Nick: Hello, pear. Are you having a nice season?
Pear: Thank you, yes, I am. Now come over here, child. There is something I want to tell you.
Nick: Yes, pear?
Pear: Come closer, closer. Listen closely.
Nick: What is it?
Pear: Do not eat me until I am ugly.
Nick: But you look so delicious right now.
Pear: Trust me, child. This is my beautiful secret.
LATER
Nick (sobbing, chewing): Oh pear, you were so right.
Persimmon: Welcome to my humble corner of the market, good sir.
Nick: Hey, you’re a persimmon, huh? I always see you here in the fall, but I don’t think we’ve met. What’s your deal?
Persimmon: First, let me say it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I would be delighted to enlighten you about my venerable family. Ahem. Commercially, there are generally two types of persimmon fruit: astringent and non-astringent. The heart-shaped Hachiya is the most comm—
Nick: Wait a minute, this sounds familiar.
Persimmon: Whatever do you mea—
Nick: You’re just reciting your Wikipedia page, aren’t you?
Persimmon: Bluh, err, heavens no! I am merely tryin—
Nick: And what’s with this fake aristocrat bit? You don’t know shit, do you?
Persimmon: Now hold on—
Nick: You’re a phony!
Persimmon: Hey, listen here, pal. I’m just a working-class fruit trying to make ends meet. But in this country, the average Joe off the street got no idea who I am, so they ain’t gonna pick me up. That means I gotta make them fancy-pantsy chefs think I’m some sort of seasonal delicacy so they’ll put me on the menu. Otherwise, I can’t keep food on the table for my kids. So don’t blow this for me, okay?
Nick: You have a table?
Nick: Apples! It’s so nice to see you all again!
Apples: Hello, Nick! We hope you didn’t get too lonely while some of us were on vacation.
Nick: Well, I missed you guys! I can’t wait to catch up with everyone!
Apples: We missed you too! But don’t worry, all your favorites are back! Gala is here, and Fuji and Cameo and Honeycrisp and Braebur—
Nick: Oh shit, Honeycrisp is here?
Apples: Of course! And all your other favorites too, like Pink Lady and Jonagold and Granny Smi—
Nick: Grandpa, right, awesome. Say, you wouldn’t happen to know where Honeycrisp is staying, would you?
Apples: Ahm, well, Honeycrisp is on the west side of display four; Fuji is on the east, and Cameo—
Nick: Hey I gotta get going but I’ll totally text everyone later. It’s been real y’all.
Apples: Oh… I guess we’ll see you later, then.
Nick: Wait, how could I forget? I have to ask you something.
Apples: Yes? What is it?
Nick: Do you think Honeycrisp would be impressed if I, like, whipped out one of those reusable bags, or should I just keep it classic and go with paper?